


One Quarter Complete

by Umbreon



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: But it's there of course, But there's spoilers because of connections, Multi, Pre-Cookies, The Cecilos isn't a focus, The Girl Scouts of Night Vale are badasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-17 19:16:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1399393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umbreon/pseuds/Umbreon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strex went too far simply by buying the station, but they just kept taking. Now there's nothing left for the friendly desert community to lose...</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Quarter Complete

**Author's Note:**

> Cookies caused confusion among the fans. That confusion gave me an odd clarity. Enjoy.

"Cecil, I don't know why I couldn't bring a flashlight. I can't see a thing," Carlos mumbled, walking through the darkness with his arms outstretched.

"Because if you can see, then other things can see you."

"... Palmer? Carlos?" a voice whispered.

"It's us, Steve. We would have gotten here sooner, but  **someone**  had to be reassured that breaking into the abandoned mine shaft would be easy."

"It's always been called 'the abandoned mine shaft.' Why would I have any reason to think there would be less secret police?"

"Because," a youthful voice called. "Strex has more  **important**  work for the SSP to be doing."

A green light erupted as a glow stick was snapped to life. The men turned to their host, who was covered in dust, a few freckles of dry blood that they knew full well wasn't hers, and with a gnarled hand on a line around her neck. The oddest thing about her was the fact that she was standing next to a large crate that had 'peanut butter patties' scrawled on the side in marker.

Steve nodded to her, Cecil waved politely, and Carlos smiled. "Hello Tamika." She may have been the most feared revolutionary in the town, but she was still a child. No need to be too serious.

She raised an eyebrow at him curiously, looking between Cecil and Steve. "What's the scientist doing here?"

Said scientist blinked. "I just heard 'abandoned mine shaft' and I wasn't going to let Cecil come here by himself."

The teen shrugged, digging the toe of a red high-top into the dirt. "Well, whatever, that might work out better anyway. Good to see you all made it safe. Now we have to move fast. They don't use the mine shaft much, but there's still people coming through on rounds."

"Question," Steve stated, holding up a finger. "What exactly **are**  we doing here?"

"Something. Finally, after everything they've put us through, we're doing something." Tamika grinned and looked more evil than anyone her size ought to.

"... knocking their helicopters out of the sky isn't enough of a something?" Carlos thought he was going to get some kind of snappish comeback, but Tamika just shook her head.

"That just bothers them; they can make more. Now we're going to get a little more personal. Get someone inside where they can do much more damage."

Cecil nodded. " What do you propose?"

She knocked on the crate lightly, and the lid lifted up. Inside was a girl with tan skin, dark eyes, and long braided hair. "Janice, meet your uncle Cecil and your step-dad Steve. And your uncle Carlos too, I guess."

"I don't have a niece," the radio host pointed out while the man beside him flushed. "Wait, Janice... aren't you Joel Eisenberg's daughter?"

The girl in the box shook her head innocently. "Of course not, I'm your niece. The one you love enough to mention on the air. A lot."

"And the one you're going to help sell Girl Scout cookies," Tamika added.

"But Palmer's not a salesman. No offence, Ceec," Steve said.

"None taken."

"But he's an actor. That's the important part." Janice nodded sagely and crossed her arms on the edge of the crate.

Carlos shook his head. "How are cookies and Cecil's fake niece going to hurt Strex?"

Tamika smiled, not quite as wickedly this time. "They're scared of Cecil because everyone listens to him. To protect themselves, they're trying to keep him in line by threatening his loved ones. They hurt his cat and you've got a pretty big target on your back too, Mr. Chemist-"

"Scientist," Carlos and Cecil interjected simultaneously.

"So we're going to use their tactics against them," she carried on, not bothered by the interruption. "You mention that your niece is in the Girl Scouts, which they don't own yet. They'll buy the chapter because that's what they do, and it'll give them the chance to hold your family over your head. They think. If we're lucky, they'll buy this big box of cookies too. And that's how Janice gets in."

"And once I'm in, I break loose as much hell as possible." Janice giggled, then retreated into the box.

"That all sounds great, but why am I the step-dad," Steve asked.

Tamika waved her hand. "It gives Radio Man an excuse to play angry uncle. His angry is very believable. And funny."

Cecil bowed dramatically to the girl. "Thank you."

"Are you sure it won't seem too suspicious that a relative of Cecil's suddenly showed up for them to pounce on," Steve asked, stepping forward to inspect the crate.

"They won't care," Tamika assured him. "All they'll hear is 'easy target' and the bait will be too good to resist."

"What about Janice?" Carlos suddenly looked worried. "She's going to be in their headquarters, right? How is she going to get out? If she even can get out..."

The teenager took a deep breath, and when she looked up again she had on her leader face. That almost blank expression that made even a few Valeans shudder in fear. "Janice is the second best fighter we have, I'm the only person she hasn't beaten in a sparring match. But if it comes to her being trapped by those people, she said she's ready to take that risk. I would have done it myself, but the rest of the militia won't let me."

"I'll be fine," a muffled voice came from the crate. "They're a bunch of suits, no problem."

In the end, none of the men were completely comfortable with the plan of a kid going in to fight the entire town's battle for it, but there was little they could do to stop it. And the talks were cut short when Cecil checked his watch and was informed the next sweep would be coming in a few minutes. They picked up the crate with the glow stick on top of it and headed for the exit, losing Tamika to whatever path she took in the darkness. With Janice packed up and ready to be taken to the station the next day, they could only hope Night Vale's hero was as good a tactician as she seemed to be.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't heard The Librarian, so if I don't have the best hold on Steve and Tamika, that's why. I just couldn't get this idea out of my head once I saw everyone freaking out over brother-in-law Steve and Cecil's mysterious sibling that we haven't heard about until now. Feel free to call me an awful fanficing trollop for this, I can take it.


End file.
